Winnipeg - One local mayoral candidate is tired of comments from the peanut gallery, or more aptly, the bannock gallery.
"People who actually spend time with the poor and suffering have no right to lecture those of us who are only forced to acknowledge their existence during the brief minutes when we walk from our luxury cars to our well-paying office jobs in the downtown area," said Gord Steeves, Winnipeg mayoral hopeful.
"That is why I challenge the Bannock Lady to stop feeding the homeless for just one day and see what my wife has to deal with."
Winnipeg's disadvantaged upper-middle class citizens have been struggling under the weight of having to deal with homeless people for some time now - not to mention the horrible roads, which is drawing the attention of human rights advocates. But according to Steeves' wife, Lorrie, who spends her days "grinding away" and "working hard" and "donating to the government," there are other problems outsiders don't see.
"Having to see a freeloding (sic) homeless person is hard enuff (sic) but not being able to vent and make racist generalisations (sic) on Facebook because my husband wants to be mayor only makes it werse (sic)" said Lorrie, in a written statement.
"I just feel that somtimes (sic) the rest of society doesn't care about people like us."
Experts agree that these problems are worsening in Winnipeg, where a growing segment of the population is forced to deal with the stresses of multiple car ownership, vacation plans and the dangerous trio of home ownership, cottage ownership and rental home ownership. It's a world that most Winnipeggers just can't understand without being there, Lorrie said.
"They don't know what it's like to own even one house. Or to be super busy. Or what it feels like to forget your Air Miles card when you're re-stocking your cabin with expensive alcohol for the long weakend (sic)."
Lorrie's husband Gord, at least, is proposing a long-term solution of rounding up the homeless in vans to take them "somewhere else" among a host of other well thought out policies such as selling everything the city owns. However, pundits are concerned that Steeves' courageous moral decision to represent primarily the disenfranchised middle-income demographic will turn off undecided homeless voters.
It remains to be seen if the plight of the upper-middle-class will become an election issue in a campaign. The Bannock Lady was unable to be reached for comment as she was making bannock for homeless people.
(This is satire)